wow. its already been one month into the school term and i have yet to touch a single bit of reading or lect notes or what not. the only school related thing i've been forced to do so far is project group work. other than that.. nada! this is terrible. i shda known a last min slacker like me couldn't handle taking malay lang.. now im completely lost in tutorial and apparently i have a lang test coming up soon. oh boy! and i can't even su this module!!!! :/ bummer. why do i keep living in ruts.. that i just can't seem to get out of? i really need a study partner or someone who's extremely motivated and influential to influence me or guilt me into studying. anyone up for the job? haha. anyway.. i've finally reached the final phase in my recovery track after a great many weeks. it was soooooooo terribleeeee!! i actually had food phobia.. can anyone imagine MEEEEEEEEEEE having a food phobiaaa?!?!! -.- didnt think so. i was not only fevery, headachey, phlemgy, whole-body-aching, PUKEY, forever nauseous (which is why i didnt dare to eat cos i alws felt like throwing it up aft) and asthmatic. WTF! it was terribleeee!!!! i cldnt slp proper even tho i was lying in bed like 24/7 cos i had to keep blowing my nose.. or sit up cos i was feeling nauseous etc.. it was horrible. now the worst is over and i can start to eat again!! yayyyy! (: going to very quickly gain back whatever weight i lost during those horrible ill days.. hahaa.. but i dont feel sad abt it. anyway.. i haven't really been able to talk to shan or jean or my sis lately.. and i really really miss these 3 people alot. they're one of my closest and bestest friends and i really heart them the most! sad to say since school started i haven't really been able to talk to em either cos im too busy or just cos our timings are damn suey. nonetheless (in case you're reading) i still love you guys many many and we will definitely talk soon okay!! (: hang on despite our never ending piles of homework and all!! we shall thrive to survive!!! ahhaha (: of late, i've been feeling so aimless and misguided. which is making me emo, angsty and very thoughtful (this may not alws be good). sometimes we tend to overthink things... which just makes everything worse. i just pray to god that i'll be more purpose-driven and know what i want to do in the future. its scary to know you're graduating soon but still am not sure what you really want to do in life. it scares me shitless. and im not proud of not knowing at all :/ some guidance perhaps?